I'm vexed, but I don't know what is the reason...

Maybe, it's because of work. Now that I can fully be honest, I do not like my work. Long work hours, physically demanding, no idea what is coming up next and, oh, the people there. Some are nice, some are good, but most of them are ****** up *** ** * *******. Sudden OTs, jobs, news books coming in and out, no floor space top or bottom. How the hell do I work, you tell me. People pushing, time is ticking, deadline nearing. And, a miserable pay. Thank god this is not my full time job, or else I would have shot myself, no question or shadow of doubt about it.

Maybe, it's because I don't have time for doing my stuff. Watching Top Gear, redoing the blog, creating something new, hanging out, driving, playing, watching anime, watching TV shows, watching movies, reading books, things that I want to do during this period of rest.

Maybe, it's because of insufficient rest. I feel lethargic and weak and sick every time I wake up, for work or for rest. Yes, I admit I sleep a lot, but this is a personal issue. Some people just need to sleep for 2 hours and they feel as if he's had steroids. Some people even after a 12 hours sleep still looks like a zombie walking.

Maybe, it's because of me. No courage to quit work, no balls to spend more time doing what I really want, no determination to utilize all 24 hours of the day. Being 'Mr Nice Guy' for too long. Now, I'm beginning to feel angry and short tempered and curse like ****, mainly due to work and partly due to not doing things that I wished to do.


I have had it. If the pressure keeps piling, I'd quit the job, cause a big mess of that ****** up company, go home, relax with a can of cool beer, and do the bloody things I want.

I don't want to follow rules, I don't like rules.

dRIVING_oUT
11:05:00 PM